Siraj Syed reviews Fuddu: Fuddy Duddy Cuddy in the Nuddy

You wouldn’t use this f word if you called yourself a gentleman. In their wisdom, the makers of this misbegotten enterprise have named it Fuddu. Heaven knows why. I cannot recall even one occasion in the film when the word as mouthed, probably because the locale is Mumbai and the characters are all from Varanasi, where the culture is anything but Punjabi. Some Punjabis, and maybe Delhi-ites, who revel in the use of colourful language, may chuckle on reading the name, and move on to hurl a similar, genitalia-based adjective. Others, not endowed with such a large vocabulary, might cringe, never mind that fu is followed by ddu, and not ... Critics, who are the purveyors of film content and quality advisories, have to grin and bear it, as usual.  Not just the title, the whole film.

Official synopsis: Fuddu is an emotional turmoil faced by a boy who has just arrived from Banaras (Varanasi) to Mumbai. He is disturbed to see how so many people live in cramped houses. After his marriage, he finds it difficult to accept the reality as to how an entire family shares only one room. His entire world tilts upside down when his wife, whom he had loved the most, leaves him for reasons which are untrue. His family too discards him and disrespects him. Will he succeed in getting his love back in his life? Will he succeed in getting back the respect from his family who had once loved him a lot? To get the answers to these questions do come and watch our emotional film with a pinch of humour.

Pinch of humour? Rolling in the aisles is more like it. Ever heard of bathos as the source of comedy? No, not black comedy, normal comedy! Welcome to Fuddu.

The real story: Mohan comes to find a job in Mumbai. He is unaware that his two brothers, with their wives and children, live in a chawl (one room tenement). One of the brothers is a ‘balloon’ salesman (glorified epithet for condoms). I cannot recall what the eldest does for a living. Mohan gets a job in sales too, selling female underwear. All his colleagues are crackpots, particularly his boss and a colleague called Sam. Sam decides to introduce his virgin junior to sex, by taking him along to a brothel, where a spunky whore asks him to put on a cap (condom). He finds a hat lying there, and promptly dons it! When told that cap is slang for rubber, he brings out a packet of the real stuff. Okay. Now jump cut to Mohan’s family getting him married less than a month after he starts working. But the marriage is not consummated for days...weeks. Is he gay? Doesn’t he like her? No such problem. He just cannot get going, what with the two other couples within earshot and eyeshot! Wife thinks he is impotent (he’s not). Everybody feels the same, and father-in-law whisks away the daughter to her mayka (parental/mother’s home).

Written by Pawan Kumar Sharma (debut), the premise is valid and relevant. For 70 years or more, a humungous number of people live in cramped spaces, since real estate prices in Mumbai are sky-high. Millions have grown up watching their family members, including parents, and grand-parents, indulging in activity that they would not be allowed to witness even on screen until they turned 18. Some films have addressed the issue in the past, with subtlety and under-statement. Sharma takes the crude, rude, crassitude-laden route, and his protagonist is kitsch of a sassy go-getter and a Fuddu. The least obscene, and the only funny gag, is one wherein Mohan falls for the usual male toilet prank, and calls the number of ‘Kareena’ (sexy Indian film-star) scribbled on the wall. It turns out be Kareena Patil, a Police Constable.

Sunil Subramani (debut, assisted Anurag Basu for 20 years, in films like Gangster and Barfi) is given the ‘credit’ for direction. As if that is not enough of a cross to bear, one report said the film’s making was supervised by Basu himself! Back to basics, Sunil. Yes, we know it is a first film for him, and for most of the team. It is also clear that it was made on a G-string budget (I thought was supposed to be shoe-string, wasn’t it?) and has taken 3-4 years to make it to screens. No sympathy is deserved, on any count. Technical flaws, beginning with cinematography, editing and use of background score, are too numerous to list. On second thought, spare a thought for Shrikant Kelkar, the editor! Obvious mess ups in taking and angles have been salvaged, to make some sense. Of course one is hypothecating, yet there just must be a caché of found footage on a hard drive that he controlled, alternated and deleted.

Only redeeming factors in the film are songs, and some performances. Songs are composed by Rana Mazumder and Sumeet Bellary, with background score by Sumeet Bellary. Lyrics come from the pens of Satya Khare, Rajeev Bali, Sharad Tripathi, Panchi (a typo, probably; Panchhi, meaning bird, is more like it; Panchi has no meaning) and Arbind. ‘Tu zaroorat naheen tu zaroori hai’ (clever line, taking liberties with language), featuring Sharman Joshi and Sunny Leone, is sung by Shreya Ghoshal and Gandharv Sachdev. It is a music video, and leaps out after the film is over, like a denouement. Classy in execution, the song indulgently plays with a lot of water and the two contoured and sinewy anatomies, almost as if to apologise for what preceded it.

Debutant Shubham sticks to his brief faithfully, and never does one sense a modicum of insincerity in his portrayal, even in the most awkward of situations. Anybody who can do so in this film has a bright future. Swati Kapoor (TV, plays the wife) remains flat and gropes around to find her bearings. Pritosh Sand (Monsoon Wedding, Saathiya, Force, Shahid) fits the persona of the big brother, overdoing the shouting bit, albeit at the director’s behest. Shalini Arora (sister-in-law, TV) has a couple of scenes, and passes muster. Pradeep Gupta as the Boss is supremely confident and revolting in equal measure. Is he the producer? That would explain the confidence part. Vikki/Vicky Ahuja (Wednesday, Force, Jal) is the middle brother, and acts well. Good work by the actress playing the prostitute and bad hamming by the guy who plays Sam. Gauhar Khan (Rocket Singh: Salesman of the Year, Game, Ishaqzaade) makes an item song appearance. Top stars Ranbir Kapoor and Katrina Kaif are acknowledged in the credit tiles. Sources reveal that they are not on screen but have been used in the promotion material.

Don’t confuse this Fuddu with Fuddu Boys, 2015, which is a short film.

Well, if you do make that mistake, you might actually end up happier.

I haven’t seen FB. So how can I make that statement? Like I said, FB is a short film.

Rating: *

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=56YaswUnzDk